Lifted without permission from Shampoo Planet by Douglas Coupland. You are encouraged to get your own hardcopy from your local bookstore.

Your inability to achieve solitude makes you settle for substandard
relationships

You don't believe magic is possible in lives lived within traditional
boundaries

You disguise your laziness as pride

You are paralyzed by the fact that cruelty is often amusing

You pretend to be more eccentric than you actually are because you
worry you are an interchangeable cog

You mistake motion for growth and are lured into vexing situations

You defend other people's ideas at the expense of your own

You still don't know what you do well

You are unable to visualize yourself in a future

Your inability to sustain sexual interest in just one other person 
drains your life of the possibility of intimacy

Your own ability to rationalize your bad deeds makes you believe
the entire universe is as amoral as yourself

You willfully ignore the small, gentle observations in life
which you know are the most important

Your fear of change is too clearly visible in your eyes

You are wasting your youth, your time and your money because you
won't acknowledge your shortcomings

Your refusal to acknowledge the dark side of humanity makes you
prey to that dark side

You worry that if you lower your guard, even for one second, your
whole world will disintegrate into chaos

You wait for fate to bring about the changes in life which you should
be bringing about yourself

You are dazed by the ease with which obliteration can be obtained

You feel you have more memories than you have energy to process those
memories

You are unable to differentiate between facade and substance

I am afraid of the Dark Ages

Let's just hope we accidentally build God

Imagine
yourself
befriending
a monster

You are never far
from
the sound of
an engine

Grow
a
tail

We're all
theme parks

Technology
favours
horrible people

Only
democracy
saves us from
the ravage
of
being animals