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From The
New York Times (March 29, 1993)
by Douglas
Coupland
The Academy
Awards. Tonight the annual high holy event of secular TV culture will
take place. Once again, viewers will be treated to an evening of Bob Mackie
gowns, iffy production numbers and at least one awkward unTelePromptered
moment. While it's true that many people watch the Oscars religiously
- for many others the Academy Awards and the world they represent are
a religion unto themselves.
Just witness
the following uncanny parallels:
| Religion |
Entertainment |
| Priests |
C.A.A. |
| Miracles |
Low-budget
blockbusters |
| Sacrifices
|
Big-budget
failures |
| Reincarnation
|
Cosmetic
surgery |
| The
Ultimate Power |
Box
office |
| Eternal
life |
Syndication |
| Orthodoxy
|
Political
correctness |
| Parables
|
Movies
of the Week |
| Disciples
|
Suits |
| Denominations
|
Studios |
| Prayer
|
12-step
programs |
| Monotheism
|
The
networks |
| Polytheism
|
Cable |
| Agnosticism
|
Satellite |
| Atheism
|
Straight
to video |
| Superstition
|
Rumors |
| Transmigration
|
Career
comebacks |
| Righteousness
|
Letters
to sponsors |
| Idols
|
Stars |
| Scriptures
|
Scripts |
| Transgressions
|
Breaches
of contract |
| Evil
|
Lunch |
| State
church |
PBS |
| Sects
|
Affiliates |
| Angels
|
Models |
| Free
will |
Test
screenings in Glendale |
| Fatalism
|
The
director's cut |
| Untouchables
|
Last
film flopped |
| Illumination
|
Colorization |
| Theocracy
|
Disney |
| Humility
|
Need
a hit badly |
| Sunday
|
Prime
time |
| Missionary
work |
Foreign
rights |
| Hell
|
Infomercials |
| Canonization
|
Academy
Awards |
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