Guide to the five dimensions


From New Republic (July 12, 1993)

by Douglas Coupland

Currently controversial population control technique
1st Dimension abstinence
2nd Dimension condom
3rd Dimension abortion
4th Dimension RU-486
5th Dimension lesbianism

1st Dimension trilobite
2nd Dimension lizard
3rd Dimension Jurassic Park
4th Dimension Dino Flintstone
5th Dimension Eric Clapton

Cereal box cartoon character
1st Dimension Tony the Tiger
2nd Dimension the Quaker, Oats Quaker
3rd Dimension Count Chocula and Frankenberry
4th Dimension Jerry Seinfeld
5th Dimension Ross Perot

Insidious labor practice
1st Dimension minimum wage
2nd Dimension part-time workers
3rd Dimension subcontracting
4th Dimension robots
5th Dimension slavery

Object of middle-class desire
1st Dimension tennis ball
2nd Dimension Picasso painting
3rd Dimension ski chalet
4th Dimension three weeks in Provence
5th Dimension Charlie Rose

Flight mode
1st Dimension Aeroflot
2nd Dimension United (coach)
3rd Dimension Concorde
4th Dimension the Star Trek beamy thing
5th Dimension astral projection

Elastic structure
1st Dimension rubber band
2nd Dimension Silly Putty
3rd Dimension earthquake-proof Los Angeles skyscraper
4th Dimension theory of reincarnation
5th Dimension David Gergen

Feistiness role model
1st Dimension the common cold virus
2nd Dimension Lucky, the Lucky Charms leprechaun
3rd Dimension crash test dummy
4th Dimension Camille Paglia
5th Dimension Marxism

Snack food
1st Dimension unpeeled carrot sticks
2nd Dimension tub of chocolate frosting with wooden spoon
3rd Dimension Norwegian lox with Maui onion and capers on pumpernickel
4th Dimension anabolic steroids
5th Dimension Clinton nominees