From New Republic (November 2, 1992)

by Douglas Coupland

A Survey of Words That Can Only Be Used 100% Ironically.

Helpful Criteria

Might Sammy have used this word to greet Dean Martin on a stage?

Might this word have been used by TV Guide to describe Marlo Thomas at some point during the run of "That Girl"?

Might I hear this word barked at a stranger from a Rancho Mirage golf cart?

Might I read this word on the box liner of a vhs cassette titled Teenage Panty Party?

Might Kraft use this word to describe one of their many fine dairy-related products? Could anyone under 35 say this word with a straight face?

The List

cabaret          cheesy           cocktail          co-ed                       

coiffure         cosmic           country club      crusty                      

cultural elite   daddy-o          daffy             dame                        

dreamy           energy           entertainer       excellent                   

extra chunky     fabulous         family values     flavor crystals             

food chain       Frank            Frisco            groovy                      

highball         hip              homemaker         honey                       

hot hubby        humanitarian     hunk              instant                     

kicky            kooky            little women      -Lite                       

madcap           Madison Avenue   mentholated       modern                      

moi              new              nugget            nutty                       

o'               perky            prom              pulsating                   

queer            ritzy            real              runner-up                   

sexy             show tunes       splitsville       spouse                      

swanky           swinging         swingingest       tasty                       

the wife         thrusting        treat             Vegas

Bonus words: Words perilously close to becoming 100% ironic:

pain             share             them             they