Perplexed?

 

From New Republic (December 28, 1992)

by Douglas Coupland

It's blockbuster season yet again, and America mills about the local mall's cinemaplex seeking to maximize its escape dollar. In honor of this annual ritual, a lexical look at how the enjoyment of Hollywood motion pictures has mutated in recent years.

ambiPepsi
n. a cola beverage that makes a low-key appearance in a film, causing the viewer to wonder whether the film's maker was striving for realism or merely succumbing to product placement dollar temptation
micropoint
n. the point in a movie where the viewer is left with the sensation that micromanaging studio executives added extraneous plot elements deemed commercially important (e.g.: pyrotechnics, oddly beside-the- point love interests, and endings in which characters stand around smiling at each other)
dead chuckle
n. a theoretically humorous moment in a movie at which nobody in the audience laughs since they've seen that same moment many times previously in trailers (e.g.: most of The Addams Family)
dead chuckler
n. the one person in the audience who laughs at the dead chuckle, causing audience members to wonder what sort of person that person is
trailer park
n. the period before a film where excessive numbers of trailers are shown
tornadoed
adj. describes a movie that audiences choose not to attend because they've seen its trailer too often
Winnebago
adj. describes an enormous trailer that reveals a film's entire plot, rendering actual attendance of the movie irrelevant (e.g.: Green Card)
soundflation
n. the gratuitous insertion of music into a movie so as to boost sound-track sales
bib-lash
n. lowered viewer attendance suffered by a movie that has too many product tie-ins (e.g.: Batman Returns)
rentiquette
n. the recent rise of in-theater bad behavior (mainly viewers discussing a movie out loud as it progresses) caused by excessive movie viewing on home vcrs
adversion
n. the general mood of hostility and ill will that follows the screening of a paid advertisement before a movie